The other day I was with Joey on our morning walk, going through the day’s plan in my head as she pranced alongside me. It was a flow chart of activities that all sort of led to the next one. If I do this, I can do this, then once I do this I’ll do that. And then...I’ll be able to….do…..
At a certain point, the To-Dos ended and I was left with a blank. Not necessarily a negative value, but I was reminded of how hollow our lives could be if we don’t import meaning into our day to day. I looked up and down the sidewalk, taking in the neighborhood surroundings I had become so accustomed to.
When I was in kindergarten, my dad would park a couple blocks away from school so that we would have a little walk together. One day he met me at the gate, full of energy. He said, I have something to show you! It’s a surprise. Let’s walk and you’ll see it.
I was filled with excitement, envisioning ice cream cones and fantastical picnics waiting for me at the car. I practically ran to keep up with my dad’s long legged strides, eager to get through the walk and see what treat was in store. My eyes were so fixed on the imagined prize that I almost didn’t notice my dad when stopped and announced, okay, here it is!
He stood in the middle of the sidewalk, facing what appeared to be a fence covered in a shrub. I inched my way over to him, trying to understand what he was looking at. Perhaps he’d positioned a toy within the layers of leaves?
Finally, unable to spot the surprise, I gave up and asked what is it?
This bougainvillea! Look at how beautiful it is! Just a whole waterfall of these flowers and the colors are so vibrant! How cool is this?
He was genuinely excited. About this…overgrown hedge?
Trying to mask my disappointment, I made a few agreeable comments. We walked back to the car, my pace slow and deflated. I’m not sure if he could tell how unsatisfied I was with that surprise, but he’s never stopped pointing out opportunities for wonder. His upbeat outlook is so persistent. I can always tell when he’s in a funk because he will be unusually out of sync with the present moment.
In retrospect, The Famous Bougainvillea Incident gave me the chance to see things through his eyes. It clued me into a world where anything can bear significance when we give it our presence. Just like my father, I am known to stop and stare at the way a plant tendril curls about a stop sign.
But it can be so tempting to live one step ahead, constantly fueling the ego with self important tasks. Especially in the name of something greater. It was on that morning walk with Joey where I felt the perceived value of so many things fall away.
I’m making a list in my head but where does it all lead?
What does any of this matter? What’s more important than being present on this walk with Joey? Having this time with her is one of the main reasons for getting a dog, so why am I treating this as a transitory moment?
Even the great passions of our lives, (which I do believe we all have and they serve as a conduit for spirit) are only important because we choose them. We say, I’ll prioritize this and then it becomes what we work towards. All things lead to that purpose. I support living out your dreams, but we must be aware of the daily experience, no matter what path we’re on.
If we neglect the daily moments, what is any of this for?
Life is not only a grand temporary experience, it is a string of temporary experiences that pass by whether we recognize them or not. If we are to experience this life, we have to seek out the little joys and nurture them with intentional awareness.
I’ve been lucky enough to observe people who were in the midst of incredible life experiences, ones that we can only dream of. In those moments, I was an outsider seeing things from the perspective of wonder. But when you are steeped in those “once in a lifetime” opportunities, you can lose your footing. The desire to level up can overcome you, leading to a feeling of chronic dissatisfaction. Watching from the outside, it looks like the afflicted person is literally blind to the blessings in front of them. It’s easy to point fingers and cast shame, but we all do it in some way.
We’ve been taught for so long to look outward for validation, to seek the highest point. But what happens when we get “there” if we haven’t paid attention to the process?
Will it even feel like the achievement we dreamed of? Or will it lack meaning because we’ve ignored the opportunities to engage with everyday wonder?
After having that moment of now with Joey on her walk, I decided I needed to shift my attitudes around the seemingly mundane moments. I told my boyfriend I was going to start indulging in the present, inviting him to do the same. It comes down to paying attention when we cook meals, eating with awareness. Delineating between work time and time for being. Taking walks, moving the body and savoring the world, every day.
If we don’t import meaning, who will? And ultimately do we want to relinquish the ability to imbue importance? Walking in presence automatically puts the power in your hands. While it might seem small, it’s a radical act.
I’m starting to believe it’s the single act that can save us all, bit by bit.
That’s all for today. I’ll see my Subscribers on Friday and everyone on Sunday with Moments for Now.
xx
James
Calling all moments: If you find yourself struck by a moment of complete presence, send it to me in either image or word form: momentsfornow@gmail.com.
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