Three Years!

of a newsletter, a way of life, a bouquet for you

Mar 11, 2024

It was the pre-dawn of spring, February of 2021. I was operating within a self-image that is very different from my current embodiment. The sun was out, so I went for a walk with my bff Gabi Abrão, who is always ahead of the curve. She said have you heard of Substack? I think you should start one.

For weeks I fretted and paced. I worried if it was too late to jump into Substack (now I laugh, but this was a real concern—so many creative blocks are arbitrary). But eventually I thought of a name I really loved. Now is Good. I had to do it. So I started this newsletter, primarily as a platform for meditations. I wanted my dispatches to center around cosmic musings and mindful stories.

I wasn’t a very good writer. Looking back at early posts is a bit painful—I don’t do it often. Time and consistency has made me a bit better, but I’m just beginning to understand what I write and why I do it.

Around the six month mark, I shared a truly personal story. I immediately received comments and private emails from people who connected with the specificity. I grew up feeling quite alone in my experience and this response meant a lot. For a very long time, I released my past in order to connect with people in the present. This newsletter gave me the chance to embrace the whole picture, offering and receiving truth within our overlapping details.

That connection is what brought me to my current project. For most of my life, I believed I could not create completely independent of other people’s vision. My work always reflected or supported or answered someone else. This newsletter made me sit with that reality and listen to my own voice. It’s really wild what committing to a bit (or a regular writing practice) will do.

Now I’m working on a collection of stories that embraces my early years of isolation, fanatic weirdness and cultish absurdity. This was NOT, I repeat, nowhere in my game plan when I started this in 2021. I wouldn’t have the courage to stare at it all and face it head on, without you continually bearing witness through this newsletter. I can’t thank you enough for your constant support, whether it’s through comments, paid subscriptions, sharing the posts, or simply opening the emails every week. I really mean it when I say it means the world.

When I first hit 1,000 subscribers, I ran to the store and bought a bouquet to honor all of you. It’s become my traditional way of celebrating every Now is Good birthday. I love a ceremony and tbh I jump at any chance to carry a bunch of flowers.

Most places are closed on Sundays in Marseille, but boyfriend and I set out with a floral mission. I felt lucky to find a cheerful man by the dock with buckets of flowers. We then hiked into Calanques, a national park in France with a series of limestone coves and cliffs. My only sneakers are a pair of worn through onitsuka tigers. At first, the muscles in my feet weren’t on board with our plan. Boyfriend softly reminded me this journey was optional, we could always turn back. This is kind, but I couldn’t stop till we reached the lookout. I held the bouquet as we ascended the cliff, careful not to drop a single flower.

The mission was a success. I present my offering. Thank you for 3 years of Now is Good. Thank you for letting me evolve this newsletter so many times, as my understanding of myself moves and expands. Thank you again and again, for showing me the many points where we connect.