Yesterday I went to the market to get a few more items for my hibernation a.k.a, my boyfriend just left town for 2 months and I’m by myself. He got a job very much out of the blue and while I’m so excited for him, it is also very odd to be alone in a home for more sunrises than I care to count right now. I’ll probably go visit him, but right now I’m figuring out how solitary I want to be. Work and writing makes it easy to stay in the house all day and night, which doesn’t sound too bad as winter sneaks in.
YES it’s only been a couple days so I’ll probably be hungry for social interactions as early as next week.
Stay tuned to find out!
Anyway back to the market—as I scooped up my grocery bag from the cashier, he casually said
hope you have the best day of your life!
I applaud him for the most memorable sign off. I do wonder if he says it to everyone or just some people or just me. If I had a real journalistic edge I would go back and ask him, but my face blindness (it’s real, Brad Pitt has it) makes it absolutely impossible to distinguish him or get any further answers.
In the moment I just replied, oh wow! But as I crossed the rainy parking lot, I started to wonder if it was POSSIBLE for this day to be The Best Day of My Life.
Okay, let’s review the facts:
It was already 3:00PM
I was headed to pick up my pup from daycare
Once I got home I had more work to do
No plans whatsoever out of the ordinary
No recent lottery tickets to win
Maybe a surprise offer could fall in my lap...had I set myself up for any new opportunities?
Should I be setting myself up for more incredible surprises at any moment?
Mentally swerving to avoid a full-blown spiral, I tuck my groceries into the car and begin the drive to pick up Joey.
As I hit the road I can’t help but wonder.
Could I even nail down one day that so far has been The Best Day of My Life ?Should I even be living with that sort of barometer in my mind? Am I missing out by not thinking in those terms?
I inch along the same old congested stretch of road, all of us waiting for pedestrians to clear the way for our right turns.
I don’t naturally seek out highs, I’d rather feel steady and consistent. It could be my natural temperament or a desire to find stability after a rocky upbringing. One of my earliest memories was at the park, when my dad commended me for rolling with the punches. It became a common phrase in our house because that’s often what the circumstances asked of us.
The right turn a success, I cruise along Riverside Ave, carefully watching for motorcycle cops that like to stake out, waiting for speeders.
Do any of us really have The Best Day?
On instagram, brides and grooms will caption photos of their wedding with sentiments like, the best day of my life was when I married my best friend.
New parents will post pictures of swaddled babies, declaring the first day we met you was the best day of my life.
Having never experienced either of those events, I can’t really fathom that feeling.
At last, I reach the traffic circle that leads me to the final stretch of the drive. I yield to a mustang and slip in behind it, taking the curves with familiarity.
Part of me hopes I never have The Best Day, but a collection of really great ones. The Best makes me feel as though the rest will never compare and where’s the fun in that?!
The older I get the more I find my memory is an unfinished watercolor, morphing and sweeping into new shades and shapes. A few key moments stand out against the haze, but even their edges have softened and some of them will likely fade. Sometimes this can be disorienting, but mostly it helps me be here with what’s in front of me.
I edge my car up to the red curb outside Joey’s daycare and hit the hazard lights.
I think we all have Best Moments, moments where we feel inspired, in love, full to the brim with communal support. For a brief second, we can’t feel the floor beneath our feet. The limits of our body dissipate.
It is a glimpse of transcending our mortal realm.
That feeling is what makes meditation so potent for me. Not because I reach that feeling every time I sit, but I open the door to welcome it in. The nature of connection that goes beyond our comprehension, expanding us and lighting us up.
The measured click of the lights pull me out of this reverie. It’s time to interface with people, maybe set up another training day for Joey. This might not be the best day of my life, but I’m going to make the best of it.
That’s all for today~I sincerely hope you have the best day, but maybe not The Best Day of Your Life. Too much pressure.
xx
James