In Wednesday’s newsletter I detailed 4 concepts that encapsulated my 28th year. One of the major developments surrounded boundaries.
In my experience, mental and emotional boundaries require maintenance in the same way physical boundaries do. You may have an epiphany that incites a change, but over time behaviors can lapse into the well worn patterns. They may appear to be more comfortable, but they will slowly take a toll. As boundaries erode, you accept what was once unacceptable and normalization blankets the scene.
It’s difficult to notice the subtle changes that push your limits. Often we see the change only when it has forced us to a near breaking point.
Today we have a chance to reflect on any boundaries that you’ve put in place, just as you’d kick a fence to see if any planks have become loose.
If you feel drained, at sea or as if someone or something is living rent free in your head, it’s a good indication that you need to check the effectiveness of your boundary.
Are there any relationships that you’ve noticed have fallen into old patterns?
How much time and energy are you giving? Does that feel reciprocated or have you started to feel an imbalance?
How can you reinstate a boundary without giving in to reactivity? Is there a way you can do less, shifting the effort away from the exterior into yourself?
What are you adding to by making this change? Rather than viewing the boundary as a diminishment of sorts, imagine you are allowing your energy to flow into other streams.
I’ve been asking myself these questions and it’s created an ongoing internal conversation around my boundaries. They are never set in stone, they breathe and move like any organic being.
I hope this framework starts a gentle examination that reinvigorates the strength we all need to keep our boundaries firm.
xx
James