re: the beginning of time

hot takes on space you didn't know you needed

you’re on a walk, the trail is scattered with rocks that are just a bit too big to ignore. despite the beauty of your surroundings, your gaze has been almost exclusively directed at your shoes, to avoid taking a tumble. 

the body is very present and aware of itself. 
aware of both the precarity of existence and connection to the earth. 

there always comes a point on these walks
where the path widens or meets the river.
your eyes rise up.
suddenly, the expanse you’re within becomes more clear. 

as your mind was fully focused on the ground, breathing became a shallow afterthought. the pause brings you to take a deeper breath. 

you exhale and the world receives your carbon, reciprocates with oxygen. 

nothing is hampering the brain as it processes the composition of colors and textures filling the scene. 

in the absence of thoughts, you experience a sense of calm. the earth’s quiet is mirrored in your mind’s eye. there is an inner stillness and silence that feels expansive.

the very fibers of our being come from a realm of silence.
the soundless arena of space.

for a second let’s travel back to 8th grade science class and revisit the big bang theory. 

this concept states that existence as we know it erupted from a teeny tiny energetic singularity with infinite density and finite time. imagine a cosmic piñata, packed to the brim with all the ingredients of our universe. 

suddenly the cosmic piñata exploded—the “bang” and everything expanded outward! after about three minutes, helium and hydrogen formed. it was so so hot that you couldn’t even see what was taking place. it was far too hot to carry light. this is known as the dark age. eventually things began to cool and light appears about 380,000 years post-bang. gravity drew hydrogen into all sorts of formations and 400,000 years post-bang, galaxies took shape. 

we’re still experiencing the expansion that was first introduced in that moment of genesis. those who study the stars can see our neighboring galaxies are moving farther away, indicating that our universe is only getting more and more vast. 

there’s a lot more to this theory, most of which I cannot fathom much less explain. it’s all wild and truly, out of this world. but the thing that really gets me, is that this big bang was not even a bang at all! 

my understanding of BANG is a loud explosion. 
it’s the sound a firecracker makes when your friend’s older brother throws it down the alley on a hot summer night. 

in this case, the bang was silent. all of this universe growing happened noiselessly. a ballet in motion with no accompaniment. 

it’s not just the big bang. when a star gets too heavy, gravity causes it to collapse. a supernova’s explosion is so gigantic it sends shock waves out into the universe. new stars form in its wake. this event is so massive it sometimes creates a chasm in the fabric of space and time, leaving a black hole to clean up the mess. 

all of this happens in silence. 

these cosmic processes are the source of the universe as we know it. our bodies and our world is made of the very atoms and elements formed in the fiery cores of stars and unimaginable bangs. 

the peace we find in moments of silence has an intrinsic connection to the very instant our physical realm began. 

we’re tapping into our deepest origins, those that we know and those that are beyond our comprehension. 

oftentimes when I think of silence, I think of stillness.
they work hand in hand. usually one facilitates the other. I tend to think of space as a pretty boring place, where not much goes on. but in truth, even when a star isn’t doing something crazy like a supernova, its very existence relies on the constant mushing of atoms together to create heat.
this heat creates the pinpoints of light we see in the sky, all while balancing out the force of gravity that hopes to compress the star.

that in and of itself is a really active thing. we just view it from afar as stillness. 

when we talk about finding stillness through meditation or even just a mindful moment, it doesn’t necessarily mean everything stops so that silence (and the peace that comes with it) can finally take over. 

just as a star can hold itself seemingly motionless, yet maintain a constant flow of light from its own core, we find our best action in stillness of spirit and silence of mind. 

when I speak about the intended purpose of meditation, I use the term “create space” quite a bit. after looking at space from this perspective the word choice feels even more accurate. 

we are all born from space. by accessing the eternal space within our being, we’re able to generate all sorts of new fantastic things. we push back on the mortal force of gravity and allow (sometimes demand) the creation of light. 

just like the celestial bodies, our most transcendent spirit is beyond words, only to be felt in the space of dynamic silence. from that space, all else follows.

until next time,
James