Hello!!
It’s been 6 days since we landed back in LA and I’m surprised to find my schedule is still infused with jet lag. We keep getting very hungry at lunchtime, eating big midday meals (very unusual for me) and falling asleep before we can eat dinner (blasphemy). We cooked an entire chicken dinner on Monday, only to fall asleep when it was resting on the counter. I can’t tell if my depressive spells are jet lag or just worldly woes, but they arrive each day at fairly predictable times.
All of this is to say, we’re living in an upside down world over here. But the trickiest part is we’re all being tipped and turned these days. The best explanation I can find leaves me with more questions: was our planet picked up by the hyper kid on the playground? Are we now being flung across the jungle gym, with no regard for gravity? How long until galactic recess ends?
I’ve been thinking a lot about Douglas Adams' series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I read it when I was younger but I’m considering a reread because its sympathy towards chaos is exactly what I need right now. It was the first book I read that made fun of humans and opened my eyes to other forms of joyful living.
“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.”
We all say we want to be happy, but happiness is so very fleeting. Contentment is what we’re really striving for or joy if we’re really on top of things. But these good feelings come not from wild experiences which are fleeting by their own nature, they come from small practiced habits that infuse our everyday routines. It’s the little choices we make that add up to big tapestries of life.
It’s really hard to know when to shift and let things go, even when they’re going well. The idea of growth is so enticing, it can sometimes lead us along when we don’t really have the ability to keep up. Something I’m trying to learn is when to recognize that it’s time to change before the well dries up. In the spirit of learning, I’m sharing my thoughts on my current process because I’ve learned from watching so many before me. As you may know, I’m going to end these Friday dispatches. I’ve decided to continue them through March as I figure out the logistics on my end, but ultimately I want to expand the newsletter and not place it behind a paywall.
Thank you for supporting me, (some of you for a full year)! It is not an exaggeration that for many months it was you that made it possible for me to eat or pay my gas bill. As things have shifted in my work and new projects have appeared, I want to be honest about how much time I’ll have to devote to the newsletter.
Is it scary to let go? YES lol! But I feel it will let me give more to more people, which is all I want to do.
For the logistics: at the end of March I’ll be manually unsubscribing you from the payments. There will still be an option to resubscribe if you’d like to support me generally or you can respond to this email (it goes directly to me) and request to remain a subscriber.
I’m excited for what’s to come and I’m so so grateful to everyone who has been here! You all are the best.
xx
James