If you’re taking the time to read this newsletter, in the midst of this chaos salad of a moment, I’m really impressed. And actually honored.
I’ve let a lot of things fall by the wayside in the past few days, one of which is my sanity!!! Just kidding—but I do very much need to shampoo my hair, amongst other time sensitive things.
Today I went on a true errand quest: five different stores for rapid covid tests (I needed 4 and there was a 2 test limit) as well as four other stops for home goods and unsuccessful attempts at finding parental christmas presents.
Writing this out, it sounds crazy, but it didn’t feel crazy at the time. It felt like a mission that had to be completed and I wasn’t going to stop until all was said and done. Although I am definitely a bit tired.
I’m really recalibrating to what it means to be alive at this moment. For so long there were certain levels of risk and I learned to mostly avoid the risks.
Now reality is dawning, and with it comes the realization that the only thing certain is risk. So am I to avoid living? No.
Of course there are still levels to that certainty, but the barometer is changing at all times. This added mental and emotional math is a true trip, surely adding to the expansive sense of tiredness that descends upon me every couple days.
If you’ve gotten this far in this dispatch, there’s only one thing I can really say.
Enough about me, what about you?
How are you doing?
Are you giving yourself time to ask that question and really answer it?
I hope so. As someone who can easily put the needs of others in front of my own, I know checking in can be strange. It might even feel alienating, because you’ve gotten really comfortable looking past yourself.
If you’re frustrated, tired, discombobulated, it won’t be this way forever. Especially if you can take the time to step back and remember the ephemeral field of our worldly existence. Especially especially if you can actively support yourself by recognizing thoughts, rather than engaging them in a swirling cycle of sparking emotion, flaming the fire and mentally floundering through past experiences as if they were fresh ones.
In the face of uncertainty, it’s so easy to forge ahead and forget to reconnect with the greater version of yourself.
When so many things are pressing, it can feel frivolous, but having a tether to your spirit can become a lifeline in moments of mounting chaos.
None of us are new to the emotions of the moment. It’s been a long road. While pretty much all of us are tired of it, the good thing is we have been here before and come through it.
We will continue to ride the waves.
When the collective feels insecure, dive down into the space of eternal self. It is the unchanging state that will welcome you in, again and again.
Practice watching your breath, do something with your hands, commune with nature.
When it finds you, there won’t be a need to ask.
Sending lots and lots of love you to all.
James
p.s.
send in your moments for now (for the last dispatch of the year!)
send ones from this week and any standout moments from 2021!
——— > momentsfornow@gmail.com